Honey I crushed myself

Aah.. atleast now its revealed dat those hunk of a shoulder is not that protective
Dont ask me why i liked this video.
No i dont envy john... do u think so.

CORNERED

"May a thousand curses descent upon you and may you be reborn as govinda" should have been the words my friend whispered into my ear but i was too shocked at what was happening in front of my eyes to react to the situation.

What started as a mid day rabidity culminated into a nemesis when my really really sweet friend incorporated a really really sweet revenge upon me for spoiling his really really sweet sunday.

When i had frantically called marauder and dunds to watch the old man in Action i hadnt anticipated this in my wildest imaginations. All gathered up at the movies to find out that the old man has been sidelined for a day by the boy wizard due to an insurge from a huge fan following.

Well now according to the "If not the mistress at least the maid" policy we set out in search for the nearest theatre complex to make up for the loss. and landed up for this lifetime reverence.

Govinda making a comeback and that too romancing katrina kaif , excellent chemistry with salman muscle khan and a 2 star by rajeev masand (i have stopped watching his show) were the taglines.




My friend did not leave room for any second thoughts and purchased 3 tickets as soon as we set our foot into the complex.

All of us were smiling all this time. Well i wanted to show others that i havent made a total fool of myself by taking this decision and iam gonna thoroughly enjoy this and i presume they too wanted to convey the same thing.


We entered the groundling circle and the entry door had a strong stench of urine. I bet the ticket collector must be peeing regularly on the door to vent his anger for the theatre management.
Managed to get seated among a bunch of bihari migrant workers who smelled funny.

My friends were still smiling...

The supposed to be funny plot unveiled as the life of love guru aka salman who finds it quite easy with the opposite sex right from his birth and pursuing a job of love consultant.

Govinda is a loser (IIM A graduate with second class as he introduces himself)(All CAT aspirants note this)
who is madly in love with his boss (k kaif) consults salman to help him out.

We sat dumbstruck during the funny scenes , laughed our head out during the emotional scenes and slept during the song sequences and somehow made it through the three hour long shit bath.

The only remnants i have about it are

1. Salman's CBR
2. Govinda's boobs
3. Katrina kaif's thighs
4. All the extras in the party , office and mall scenes (people seldom notice them. take my word. they r real fun to watch)
5. The extremely salty LAYS we had
6.The Urine at the door

David Dhawan has managed to make his magnum tortura with this diarrhoeal adaptation of HITCH

Friends not smiling now... :)

PS:- My Friend, you are turning suicidal, u almost got us killed today.

Transforma-Aficionado

Michael Bay is back this time with some really gigantic stuff and the tremors that reckoned the arrival of the giants have materialized into some really solid threat to other contemporary releases at the box office this week.

Transformers marks the onscreen revival of the famous transformer series of toys from hasbro where they fly in to protect mankind from a more ruthless,more metallic decepticons.
megatron, barricade and blackout.Its fulltoo entrtainment guaranteed when optimus prime and bublebee fight it out against their arch rivals.

But ofcourse the juiciest part of the movie is .... yes the TRANSFORMATIONS as such
Its just an orgasmic feeling to watch that old rickety trucks and cars slowly transforming themselves into towering triple storey sized robots.(I envy the japaneese for this kinda stuff. they get to see it daily in all of their cartoons)

i remember watching the citreon c4 commercial in a loop mode just to satiate my hunger for mechanical contortions.



With the baddies hosting a series of fighter jets and choppers in their pedigree lists. this is going to be much finer and sophisticated.

The shapes on screen range from a lockheed F22 raptor(starscream) to an 18 wheeler(optimus pime). and a flurry of other roadies like mustang and pontiac.

Michael Bay had redefined the limits of his potential as an action movie maker with Bad Boys 2. The film was acclaimed for its action scenes and special effects. In here he seems to deliver the same kind of unshaky "count ur breaths baby" action extrvaganza.

And the sheer size of these these things adds to the sex appeal

All i can say is This is gonna be a gourmet luncheon for some ever hungry robo fans with a penchant for hefty action scenes.

Statutory Warning : Indian Call center employees may find some scenes like this one disturbing

Note: The movie has managed to rake in a record 67 million dollars in its first week of opening.
Sadly Indians have decided to go with more magical kind of stuff this week.

Sniffer

All these years he got paid for sniffing things out of other's butts.
Now he's gonna get it for sitting around and sniffing his own (or maybe his her's)

slap crap

slap Nose-tradamus

The news had nothing exceptional about it . But the central theme was worth mulling over.
Slap aka thamacha. The ultimate weapon that the Indian heroine uses against the lascivious villain when he tries to unleash a hamla on her sanctity.
The bolly flicks of the 60s featured slap as the weapon ultima. Most tense scenes culminated with a tight slap , from hero to heroineee, heroinee to villain, saasumaa to bahu or from villain dad to heroine daughter.
All of them took turns and slapped each other on the screens lavishly hither and tither while the audience watched them with bated breath followed by thunderous applause.
Of course the then villains althhough insane under the effect of daru had a huge sense of self respect and often came to conscience within one or two slaps from mala sinha or nutan. and then they would leave the place for the 'heroinee' to exhibit the lacrymation capabilities to the audience.

However as bolly stepped into the late 70 s and 80s. more dreaded villains emerged, shameless scums, who were capable of insanity without daru.
While yester year heroines who had been on the receiving side happily donned the older , mature saasu maa, and maa roles and started delivering a volley of slaps to the new comers irrespective of gender the madhuris and jayapradhas employed a very tactical shift in their approach.
dhakkas (pushing), laafa, chaakus and jhadoos (brooms) came in to assist slaps.
slowly they gained prominence and slaps started fading into the oblivion.

However some noted actors like prem chopra, gulshan grover and prathapachandran(one time omnipresent rapist in mallu movies) did help in their own way to preserve this rarified bolly culture by trying it on the heoines intermittently to subjugate them.
(technical flaw here. Why is it that the villains use ghoonsa(punches) against the heroes but only slaps against the heroines, actually punches are more effective than slaps, and its not illegal to punch a lady... hmmm need to ponder on this stuff)
This is from my own personal experience when one of my friends used a ghoonsa on my face(cheeks) instead of a slap in a friendly brawl.I felt a heavy metal ball rolling from my left lobe to my right lobe and then into my lungs through my medulla oblangata (Thanks to my biology tutor). That was the only time i had preferred someone had slapped me.

But however lately a slap renaissance seems to be in vogue.Some movies like Munnabhai featured the desi laafa as a counter force to videshi martial arts. (Remember the scene in which Sanju baba introduces himself as laafa champion!!!!)

Its time up for the day. Iam left with a hoard of slapper stuff. Slap enthusiasts may watchout for another post

Jab tak rahega laafe mein dum
Tab take rahega jhandu balm.


adieu ...alvida....sayonara.